Forgotten memories

A patient in a mental hospital, was consulting with doctors in the hospital during the.

"Doctor, is critical sir. I often have forgotten memories," said the patient.

"Please sit down and take a deep breath," the doctor ordered.

The patient was then sat down and took a deep breath. And then the doctor asked the patient, "Okay's, now what's the problem?"

"the hell, anyway? Done forgotten, sir," replied the patient.

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Keep the night at the factory

A man is working as a night watchman at a factory. In the factory theft often do
by the workers who turn into night.
So every morning when the workers began to leave the factory that night, they must pass through checkpoints. In that post, guards checking bags and pockets that night workers, to make sure nothing was stolen. Everything was going smoothly on the first night the guard working that night.
Then is came a man who pushed a wheelbarrow full of newspapers. Aha, thought it guard, "Come he could hide stolen goods under a pile of paper."
The guard moved all the papers, but he did not find anything good behind a pile of paper. However, the guard
felt that he was acting a bit strange, so he asked for what many newspapers that carried.
"I got a little extra money from newspapers recycled. So I always go to the dining room and took
all unused paper and wasted. “
Finally, the guard let him go, but he decided to continue watching him. Following nights the same thing happened. Week after week went by. The same guy is always pushing a basket full of newspapers through the checkpoint. The guard always checks the wheelbarrow and he did not find anything else.
One night, after a year passed, the guard received a message that he is facing his supervisor immediately. He hurried to the office supervisor, and before he could say a word, his boss said, "You're fired!"
"Fired?" asked the guard with a surprise. "But what reason? What have I done?"
"It is your job to make sure that no one can steal anything from this factory, but you fail. Thus,
you're fired! “
"Wait, what was failing? No one stole anything from this place as long as I keep It."
"Oh, yes," replied the boss. "And what explanation is about the loss of 365 wheelbarrows?

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Name Long

Once upon a time there was a student who was asked by his professor. "What's your name?!" asked the professor.

"Long, sir," he said.

"Ah, it's nothing. Name it, kids are now called the long-term. Let's just mention that ...," said another professor.

"Long, sir!!" he said.

"My son, my father, my mother, my grandfather, to my great-grandparent, name long all, you name said!!!!" snapped the professors. He was more upset over the student's answers.

"Looooooong ...!” shouted the students.

In investigate, it turns out that students are called LONG.

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Not me sir

IN an international flight, the passengers are treated to food raw materials made from cassava.

The passengers were so heartily enjoyed the meal. When the plane is had landed at the airport. In the passport control counter were three visitors who came from three countries, namely U.S., UK, and Indonesian.

While is they waited for the line, whether consciously or not all three pass gas. Passport examiner was surprised, all three became embarrassed.

Passengers from the United States directly say excuse me, from England to say 'pardon me, sir, as for the Indonesia proudly say not me sir.

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Body odor

Air-conditioning system in the office of law firm consulting firm is experiencing problems.

Because the hot room makes employees feel the heat and start that body odor is not pleasant. Things are tapered at each look at each other suspiciously.

Soon after is an honest employee who shouted, trying to reach his seat, "Oh the smell, who's that have a problem with deodorant? One brand purchased time?"

Heard the phrase, Johnny spontaneous talk, "Certainly not me, because I'm not wearing.

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Doctor of Nervous

WHEN entering patient rooms, doctor's Soehe nervous. There was something he wanted to convey to the patient, but heavy on the heart doctor Soehe ..

Finally, she forced also spoke to Mr. Wim, the patient was.

"Mr. Wim, will you forgive those who trespass against you most so far?"

"God is Oft-forgiving, why do I have to hold a grudge?"

"There is recognition that I have to say to the host Wim, which is about the bad news and good news."

"Tell the bad news first."

"Master of my leg amputation was wrong. It is not a right but should the left."

"Gosh! And the good news!

"After I go back, it should not have to master leg amputated."

Cost of phone

Teddy could not bear to see an increase in the cost of the phone at his home. After dinner at home, he assembled all the inhabitants of the house.

Teddy said, "I saw this was several months phone bill was so expensive. I rarely use the phone in the house. I always use the phone in the office."

Teddy's wife, "I am too. I use the phone in my office. Why so expensive home phone like this? Who's wearing?"

Teddy said the two children close together, "We also never use home phone. I've already got hand phone."

Family housekeeper was spoke, "Why bother to set questions about the phone costs a lot each using a phone from work. I too, right!

Weight loss program

WHETHER because of being happy, Agnes felt her weight continued to rise uncontrollably. When he finally became overweight, Agnes decided to go to the doctor for a consultation.

Doctor recommend it ran 15 km every day, for 30 days. If Agnes diligently do, the weight will drop 20 pounds.

Agnes obey the doctor's advice. Diligently she ran 15 km every day, for 30 days. After that he was happy because his weight had dropped as much as 20 kg.

Agnes call the doctor and thanked him for his advice. There's only one problem, doctor.
What Miss.Agnes problem?

How do I go home? Because I was 450 km away from home!

Jealous Lover

Lovers stroll in the zoo. When the monkeys saw the two kissing, the woman whispered to her boyfriend.

"I wanted as they were, Mr.," pleaded the woman.

The man said nothing.

Then they met with two horses who were also kissing.

The woman whispered back, "I want to like them, Mr.”

The man bit sulky, but said nothing.

Then they saw two cows are lovingly kissing, and a long two cows each other 'wrestling' in the grass.

The woman whispered again to his girlfriend, "Mr., I want to be like them".

Finally, the man was impatient and said, "If you want, there quickly, while the cow was not finished!

Dentist

In a place where is a dental practice having a patient who's treatment. Once completed and cured to pull

a tooth, the patient asked, how much it cost ?

$200 course, answered the doctor.

Wow, is usually a charge $ 50! the patient said.

Yes, but because of your screaming, three other patients that blurred!

Cigars from Havana

Day change night when Joni returned to the house. He saw his wives are lying in bed without any ply in the body.

He will ascend to bed, when located in the ashtray on the table on the side of the bed; Joni saw a cigar that is still up.

"Good! Good!" he said with a furious cry while. "If you do not let any of this cigar, it will be I kill you!" Suddenly out of bed sounded hollow voice replied, "Okay ... Okay's ... its Havana cigar!

Problems with back neighbors

One parishioner said to a pastor. "Priest, I have a problem with the neighbors behind the house. I'm afraid and fearful of them," said john, the congregation.
"You must come and socialize with them," answered clergy.
"That's the problem, Mr. Clergy. I may not do," said john.
"Why?" priest ask again.
"Because on the back of my home is the grave.

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